Each of us are responsible for the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
One of the constants and most important blessing we have in life is that of free agency. This gift and the implications of its exercise can be the source of greatest joy in our lives or it can be the cause of our greatest sorrows.
We can choose the direction that our life takes. We feel empowered when we exercise that agency, resulting in happiness and satisfaction coming into our lives. We feel empowered because we believe we are in control of what happens to us based on our choices. However the exercise of agency by others, or the unexpected impacts of agency by ourselves is not always as easy to accept.
How many times have we seen the ravages of war and its impact on the innocent civilians. We see almost daily, the heart-wrenching videos of a grief-stricken mother whose child has been figuratively and literally ripped from her arms and from her life by the actions of a drunk driver.
It is these effects of the exercise of agency by others that oftentimes drives people to life-ending depression, questioning the goodness of a God who would allow such a thing to occur and questioning of the fairness of life.
We live in a time of a very difficult economy for many. Long term unemployment is at historic highs. We see the quoted unemployment statistics weekly. We all know someone who has been impacted by these circumstances. I can speak from personal experience after being a six figure wage earner for most of my adult life.
It is easy to see a "path of responsibility" when it is obvious that our actions or inaction have "caused" our present circumstances. What is much more difficult for people to accept, is that regardless of how we arrived at our present condition, we are responsible for where we are.
Most people frankly have a difficult time accepting this statement and implications thereof. "I didn't do anything to cause myself to lose my job. How can that be my fault?" I bought into this line of reasoning until I came to realize and accept that:
- I didn't prepare for this eventuality.
- I allowed myself to be comfortable in the position I was in and didn't constantly retrain in the latest technologies.
- I didn't keep myself physically fit to have the energy and stamina to make major changes in my life.
- I wasn't setting goals; short-term and long-term.
Now the path is much more difficult, but it is my responsibility for where I am in life regardless of any effects I have or currently feel because of the actions of others. No, I am NOT responsible for the actions of others, but it is my and only my responsibility for not being prepared.
What does one do when beset upon by seemingly insurmountable circumstances or conditions? (In no specific order.)
1. Dream big. If your dreams and goals do not SCARE you, you are not dreaming big enough.
2. Pursue your passions. This may mean taking on work and jobs that are not your passion at the moment in order to gain momentum. That is fine. Sometimes anything that pays the bills is progress.
3. Find your success coach. Find that person who sees your potential and will hold you accountable.
4. Fight your fears and procrastination. Sometimes you must tackle only one task at a time. Sometimes it means just paying one bill to make progress for the day. Do NOT pretend that your fears are a part of you to be ignored. They MUST be recognized, accepted and confronted.
5. Do not live your life for others or for their acceptance or approval of you. What they think of you is none of your business.
6. Whatever you plan on doing with your life, it must involve leaving this world a better place than when you got here.
7. Say hello to someone new and learn their name, every single day. This may not seem to "fit" in with what it takes to change one's life around. We gain perspective by connecting with other people and we bring joy to the lives of others by recognizing them and making the effort to get to know them.
8. Talent on its own never won the day. It is the person who hones his craft every day, works till 2 am and that has that sickening work ethic that is focused on improving oneself that realizes the dream.
9. Get up early in the morning to start your day. Eat healthy and exercise.
10. The biggest problem that people have breaking out of their circumstances is that they don't SEE themselves in another life. They don't see themselves living on the beach. They don't see themselves writing books. They don't see themselves giving seminars. No matter what kind of changes we make in our lives, on average 4 out of 5 people will not believe we are making the right choices or will turn us down when we approach them for a job, for a sale or for support.
All that matters is that YOU first believe it and that YOU take the ACTIONS to make it happen.
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