<Organizing all my writing tasks, sites, etc. Seriously considering a novel about Brandon and Alissa.>
The sight of her still makes my heart flutter. She smiles when she sees me.
Our third date. Isn't that supposed to be the "make or break" one? We were walking out after watching a surprisingly good "who done it" flick, laughing out loud over the not-so-subtle double-entendre humor. When was the last time I laughed out loud with someone?
Being at a movie with a date very early on in a relationship is extraordinarily uncomfortable for me. It is a very utilitarian problem actually. What do I do with my hands, if we haven't "held hands" yet? Breaking that ice in the theater just doesn't seem to work for me.
It began to lightly drizzle. Rain, whether it be warm springtime showers or a fall precursor to winter snow, has always stirred romantic or at least sentiment feelings from deep within my being. I think it started when we moved to Oregon when I was a young teenager in love. The rain just resonated with me then and has ever since, as a romantic attack on all the senses.
We weren't in much of hurry though interestingly enough as the drizzle turned to a light shower. I love walking in the rain and even more with someone that I might end up caring about.
My right hand brushed up against hers ever so gently, as I reached into my pocket for my keys; by accident? We were still a ways from the car in however and both looking ahead as we were talking about how much we really liked the movie, now that we stopped laughing! When our hands brushed, I totally forgot what I was talking about.
Until this point, I frankly wasn't sure if Alissa was all that attracted to me. I am not the greatest looking guy in the world and maybe lacked self confidence just a bit as a result. Dating again has been frustrating, yet left me with memories of truly happy relationships and experiences from my past that I would never trade. As frustrating as relationships are, I love being around women much more than men, as friends I mean. I have been engaged now twice in the last 2 years. While not ultimately working out, the women from those relationships are still some of my best friends.
"OK, I really want to hold her hand. But I am not sure this is even going to work out. Well, I will never know if I don't try. Stop being so silly. Sheesh", I thought to myself.
I ever so gently grasped her left hand with my right, at first lightly dragging my fingertips across the palm of her hand. Her long elegant fingers then immediately found their way interwoven between mine, as we continued walking. Was that an ever so quiet gasp I heard? We continued walking, without losing a beat. As I ever so slightly turned my head toward hers, to catch a sideways glance of her, she continued to look forward with a slight smile and what seemed to me to be a twinkle in her eyes, as a drop of rain paused on the tip of her nose and then fell to the ground.
I didn't know whether or not to pick up the conversation where it left off. At once, words seemed inadequate for the moment. As we approached the car, Alissa forcefully squeezed my hand. As we walked to the passenger side of the car which happened to be in the now deserted part of the parking lot, well, I hadn't planned at all for what happened next. After all, until a minute before we had not even held hands.
She faced the passenger door, but as I was letting go of her hand, I slid my right arm gently around her waist and turned her to me, or did she turn on her own? She lifted her gaze up, our eyes immediately locked on each other. Without a single word, I gently raised both my hands and brushed her now slightly damp hair aside from her eyes. Gently holding her face in my hands, with my thumbs gently caressing her cheeks, I paused and lowered my lips to hers as her eyes fluttered and closed. Our kisses were gentle and caressing, almost as if too passionate of a kiss would shatter the experience. We both knew time for more would come later, as now was time for this gentle, perfect caress of our first kiss; a kiss acting as a probing inquiry, an introduction of sorts, but yet so much more. She drew herself closer, her arms enveloping me, seemingly looking for not just protection from the drizzle that had turned to rain, but for protection of her heart, as her arms enveloped me.
She slid one arm up the back of my now wet jacket and cradling my neck, opened her eyes and with a knowing smile, gently pulled my face to her and ever so gently, gave my bottom lip a caressing kiss, seemingly to thank me, for bringing us together at this moment, started by the simple act of holding hands, our first touch.
