We are responsible for own happiness?

A kindly bishop once opined, in a private discussion, perhpas this "happiness thing isn't what it is all cracked up to be".

"We are responsible for own happiness."

I don't think a day goes by that we are not bombarded with good meaning and good intentioned "philosophers", wearing the garments of our friends, family, acquaintances, trying to convince us, often behind the veil of their own unhappiness, that we need to "be responsible for our own happiness." 

However, truth be told, it is our self-possessed search for our own happiness, that has turned us into an inward-looking, self-absorbed, selfish and unhappy people.

Somewhere along the way we have convinced ourselves, THAT WE DON'T NEED EACH OTHER; that our well-being and others' well-being are indepdendent, non-intersecting concepts. We have convinced ourselves that we can, on our own, be the best and happiest we can be, in our insular worlds. 

It is precisely because we are hyper-focused on our own happiness that we, as a people, a culture and a society are so terribly unhappy. It is precisely because we are so alone that we are so unhappy; but we have also, in the depths of our unhappiness, have convinced ourselves that we are as happy as we can be, in our aloneness.

Are we responsible for own happiness? Yes.  Our choices are ours alone to make. However, as much as we would like to believe that we have unilateral control over our reactions to others we interact with, the truth of the matter is that we are affected by the actions (and even thoughts of others, of us) but more sobering is that how others treat us is impacted by how we think of and deal with others. We have confused the concept of free agency with interconnectedness.

Can we be completed by interactions, service and, even yes, relationships with others?  Yes, but it can only begin to happen when it is the happiness of others that is the focus of our interactions, service and relationships with others.

Can we ever expect to achieve that happiness ... alone? I think that is up to each of us to ultimately answer for ourselves. That is, does the happiness of others really mean anything to us?

The "happiest" people in the world, seem to be those who are the most humble, those with the least of what we denote as possessions that make us happy and those who are most connected with those around them; from the humble grandmothers of Russia, worshipping in churches that are tourist depots to others, but places of worship to them ... to the natives of Ethiopia ... to even some of the homeless on our own streets.